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Do
Something That Scares You Everyday
by Marta Kagan
Career Coach, Business Coach, & Motivational Speaker
There is something innately terrifying about stepping outside of
your Comfort Zone. Sometimes even the thought of trying something new
or different can cause your heart to race. At the threshold of every new
experience looms the possibility of failure, rejection, or injury, leaving
you wrestling with (or simply giving in to) a healthy dose of fear.
The simple truth, however, is that fear is one of life's greatest
saboteurs. It robs us of our happiness. It causes us to settle for far
less than we're capable of. It introduces a melee of negative emotions
and conflicts that unravel our relationships and lead us to even greater
levels of fear. Fear influences us on such a pervasive level, that we
often don't even recognize it for what it is. Fear is the reason why so
many of us stop believing in ourselves, stop pursuing our dreams, stop
being true to ourselves. And none of us are immune to it.
Behavioral scientists insist that this fear response is a healthy
manifestation of our survival instinct. We are programmed to move away
from things that make us physically or emotionally
uncomfortable; to the subconscious mind, this discomfort equals potential
danger. By avoiding the source of the discomfort, we minimize the chance
of injury, and therefore, increase the chance of survival.
Of course much of what lies outside the Comfort Zone is far from life-threatening.
Nevertheless, our innate programming causes us to experience discomfort,
fear, even panic as we approach the edge. By all intents and purposes,
we are hard-wired to avoid anything new and challenging. Instead, we stay
safely within the Comfort Zone for most of our lives. We develop what
some have called a "homeostatic impulse" – an unconscious tendency
to be drawn irresistibly toward
doing what we've always done.
Homeostasis itself is not a bad thing. Our bodies have developed an innate
ability to maintain homeostasis that is critical to daily survival.
This is what keeps your body temperature at 98.6 degree Fahrenheit; it's
what maintains the delicate chemical balance that allows your heart to
beat and your muscles to contract.
The danger of homeostasis is
that it often leads to complacency, the great enemy of creativity, growth,
and success. Our fears of rejection and failure, our need to move away
from discomfort, our unconscious homeostatic impulse keeps us doing the
same things we've been doing, even when those things are no longer serving
us. Have you ever wondered why some people stay in unhealthy or even abusive
relationships? Why some people spend years in a job they hate, complaining
endlessly but never leaving? Change is certainly hard, but it's not the
difficulty that holds so many of us captive – it's the FEAR. The homeostatic
impulse can be so powerful (and so unconscious) that even if forced out
of a bad situation, most people will recreate a new one – similar to the
one they just left – as soon as they possibly can. This is the phenomenon
where someone loses the job they absolutely hated and then actively seeks
the very same job someplace else; or someone who leaves their unhealthy
relationship for another one just like it.
It all comes down to the Comfort Zone. It all comes down to Fear.
In order to cause any true change in our lives, we must start by
becoming aware of our own homeostatic impulses; we must come to terms
with our fear. We must get used to the feeling of awkwardness and discomfort
that results when we first step out of our comfort zones, recognizing
that great success and happiness are only possible when we're willing
to take a little risk. This is a conscious activity that calls for a great
deal of courage and vigilance. And sometimes, the only way we can find
that strength of will is by taking smaller, bite size steps.
So In invite you to try this little exercise:
Grab a piece of pen and paper and write down the last time you
remember resisting, avoiding, or delaying an activity that made you feel
uneasy or uncomfortable. Below that, jot down the specific fears you can
connect to the discomfort – was it fear of failure? Rejection? Injury?
List them all in any order they come to mind. Notice when you start making
excuses, using the phrase "I can't" or transferring your personal
fears onto someone or something else.
Now that you've identified your fear and your homeostatic impulse, spend
some time visualizing yourself actually DOING whatever it is that you
resisted/avoided/delayed. Don't allow yourself to dwell on the fear or
discomfort; acknowledge these feelings, then bring your attention back
to the image of success. Create a vivid picture of yourself being fearless
throughout the activity. You've done this 100 times before. It's completely
comfortable. Your confidence and ease are clearly expressed in your body
language, facial expression, and level of skill.
Keep this image close to you for the next few hours or days, until calling
it up becomes almost effortless, as if it were a real
memory. Notice how you feel when you think about the activity now. Has
the discomfort lessened? Is the fear subsiding as you prepare yourself
to stretch and grow?
Fear is a healthy, functionally necessary part of human existence. Without
it, we would not survive for very long. But it is also a great saboteur,
holding many of us back from leading truly meaningful, fulfilling lives.
So beware the siren song of your old habits. Be conscious and
deliberate about moving out of your Comfort Zone as often as
possible. Live your life on purpose. Do something that scares you
EVERY SINGLE DAY.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Career transition specialist Marta Kagan has helped countless
professionals achieve more success, freedom, and balance in their work
lives. To find out more about Marta's innovative career coaching services
and sign up for FREE confidence-building tips like these, visit her website
at http://www.lifelinecoaching.com.
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